I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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