I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
