shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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