did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
