she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
there is another microwave in the elevator.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize