i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
