it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
