i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
