Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
