I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
