What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've blown a few things in my day
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
