apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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