weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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