using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
