My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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