Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize