I met the friendliest cop last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
