So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
