Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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