Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
