he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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