i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
