i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
