Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
