i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
