just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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