No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Four minutes until I can fart!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
