i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
