What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
