My hand turned me down
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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