I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
