So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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