Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
