; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
