There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
