That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
