Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
