There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
