so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
nutella sex= disaster
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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