the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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