So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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