She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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