so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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