Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
