We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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