Everything about him screamed your future.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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