Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
