Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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