Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
