I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
