fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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