You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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