When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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