I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize