I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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