People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
