Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
