I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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