I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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