You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
