I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
