you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
