CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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