C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
