we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
