The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this just has baby written all over it
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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