i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
