I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize