I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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