I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
