Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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